A Game of What If
by epicbat12345
Summary: What if you could go back knowing what you know now? What if you could use your knowledge for good? What if you could save a few lives? What if you fall in love? What if? OOC, AU- ish, SS/HG
1. Chapter 1

**_I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING TO DO WITH HARRY POTTER, THIS IS JUST A HOBBY!_**

 _A/N. Hello! Back again! This time get ready for the long haul! I hope to gift you all with a big fict (I hope!). Please bare with me as I will be writing it as I go along. This will be my first attempt at a time turner fict... ish... well yes it is hahah. So! At first it's cannon ish, then... Non cannon, then AU I guess hahah. Please enjoy this first chapter! Leave loads of reviews! Be nice!! I love reading all of your thoughts!!! Ok then... Lets get started!_

 **The Game of What If**

The halls were empty.

The corridors were empty.

The castle was empty. Well... Not completely, but nevertheless it all still felt empty.

There were a few that remained, from what was a long, sorrowful, war.

They had won. Good had won. Evil defeated. But at what cost? Too many sacrifices made for the ominous phrase "The Greater Good".

Yes the war had been won, but all that were left of the survivors were just shells.

Shells of hero's.

The sparks gone.

The fight gone.

All hope? Gone.

The rebuild of the castle was long and strenuous. Everyone was tired, everyone was unmotivated and everyone was still mourning. Every single witch and wizard lost someone close to them, be it related or not, to the 'Greater good'.

However the minestry painted a bright happy picture over theese, now lost, survivors, labelling them all as heros. However they didn't feel like hero's, they were just pawns in the big game of chess controlled by Dumbledore and Voldemort.

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McGonagall sat as new Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

She sat in the same office all the other head teachers had after all the past years. But it wasn't the same, she thought the title would be bestowed upon herself upon happy circumstances. However it was the complete opposite, there was no joy and novelty to it all now. There was an air of melancholy that covered the castle and engulfed the survivors within.

Her eyes scanned across _her_ new office. But she knew that it would never really be _her_ office in _her_ eyes.

"You know Minerva, I find that sweets usually help lift a down mood. Or talking to an old friend?"

She sighed, "Oh Albus, I wish it were that simple. Things are not how they were, and honestly Albus? It's scary feeling so empty. You can feel it, I'm cirtain the castle can feel it too, the positive, optimistic Hogwarts is turning, cold, dark... and empty." She could feel her head fill with heaviness and rested her hands on her cheeks.

"But Minerva, We won..."

Her head whipped around to stare at the twinkly eyed wizard, sitting in his portrait. "BUT AT WHAT COST ALBUS?!" All the emotion that she had been holding back for so long, was now crumbling at the seams. "We lost too many good wizards Albus, for just one evil one to fall... For some that never even got a proper chance to tell their story."

"Severus." The old wizard replied.

"Yes. Belive it or not I miss that misery guts." She sighed. "I wonder what the war would of been like if we knew what was going to happen? What if some of those lives could of been saved?" Minerva got up to leave contemplating those scenarios.

"What if indeed Minerva."

She hummed in agreement before leaving the office, not noticing that Albus had also left his portrait.


	2. Chapter 2

**_I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING TO DO WITH HARRY POTTER, OK THANKS!_** CHAPTER 2

"I have regrets Minerva..." Albus perked up, his eyes glistening in the daylight that shone in. She sighed, "I Think we all do Albus." McGonagall replied.

He continued, "The biggest one I have is not letting Severus have his own life. His life was based around serving others. He never got a chance to be happy, or even to love. What if we could change That?"

Minerva stared at him, the cogs werring in her mind. Her eyes stared deeply into Albus's happy blue pools, with intrigue reflecting in them.

"Albus? What are you getting at?"

A humble smile grew on his face, as she knew Albus Dumbledore had something up his sleeve, as always.

"Minerva? What if I told you that I have a contingency plan?"

She looked at the Ex Headmaster with shock, "Albus, we still won. What difference will that make now?"

He silenced her, raising a canvassy hand. As he did that a draw that was always locked, located in the head teachers desk, was rattling and banging like it wanted to be opened.

With a flick of a wand, the draw slid open. Suddenly a whisp of gold, in the shape of a familiar necklace with a note appeared on the desk.

McGonagalls delicate fingers picked up the note and read it aloud. "The Present is a present and a weapon to the past, used wisely and there may be more victories to the victory." She paused.

"You mean to use the..."

"Yes Minerva."

"But who would be willing Albus?"

He said nothing. But his twinkling eyes said a thousand words.

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"Five more days Mione, five more days until the first step in our future together..."

"Ron, I still think we need to talk about this?"

"What do we need to discuss, I have thought of everything! We move back to the Burrow, I'll get my job as an Auror, we will save enough to move out and then I'm going to marry you Hermione Granger... See all thought out, why the chat?"

Hermione shook her head with disbelief at the red head.

"You see this plan Ronald, it's all about about you and what you want to do! No consideration on my thoughts of the situation. What if I'm not ready to leave yet? Infact I still haven't finished my NEWTS yet! What if I want to do that? What if I don't want to do anything at all." She paused, "Everyone is trying to get on with their lives like nothing has happened. I know Ron, that this is your way of coping with the loss of your brother, by just ploughing on with your life. But I don't know if I'm ready for that. Ron, I love you, please believe that. However I don't think I'm reaady for that life. I do love you, but I've only ever seen you like a brother..."

Ron looked liked he had just been surprised slapped by a fish.

"But... But, we kissed?"

"Ron, it was just in the moment, after we did, it felt wrong, because I have nothing but respect for you, you, like Harry, are my best friends in the entire world, that's all I want from you Ron."

She gently placed her hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off, turning in the other direction towards the black lake.

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Hermione walked back to the castle, the only place where she can be one with her mourning.

She could feel the castles pain, and in some way she felt that as a comfort. After the war had finally finished, Hermione had made a habit of talking to the magical building, she felt like the castle was listening, and would always be a friend.

Hermione was on her way the old common rooms, when suddenly the castle decided that was not going to be her final destination. The staircase abruptly moved to another corridor, taking Hermione by surprise. "Woah, what are you doing?!" She cursed under her breath. Although she didn't do anything to stop herself, she just kept walking, her mind was too clouded to think clearly.

Corridors, upon corridors, Hermione trudged, not sure of her destination. It felt like she had been wandering the castle for hours, where in reality it had only been a few minutes.

Her feet came to a stop, and reality hit her. Being popped put of her bubble she realised that she was now standing outside the Headmasters office.

"Why here? I don't know the password." She gently spoke to the castle walls as she traced her fingers over the bricks.

As if the castle had heard her request the gargoyle sprang to life and the stairs appeared. Hermione found herself going up the stairs into the head teachers office for no particular reason.

When the she reached the top the door swooped open.

Hermione stood in the entrance to the office to find McGonagall sitting at the desk, with all of her focus on the intense conversation she was having with the painting of Dumbledore.

"You mean to use the..."

"Yes Minerva."

"But who would be willing Albus?"

He said nothing. But his twinkling eyes said a thousand words.

There was a moment of silence before Albus resumed talking.

"Well it seems to me that the castle has already made it's decision." His eyes twinkling profusely.

"Why come in Miss Granger, it seems like we need to have a chat."

 ** _Don't forget to leave areview please!!!_**


	3. Chapter 3

**I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER.**

Chapter 3

"I trust you are familiar with this object miss Granger?" Minerva asked, with hints of uncertainty lingering in her voice.

"Why yes professor, it's a time turner. Infact, it's the same one that I used in my third year."

Albus pushed his half moon glasses up his nose to stare deeply into the young woman's eyes. "Ah yes, very observant, as always. However since then, before I resided in this picture frame, I made a few adjustments and modifications to this very turner. To reduce time loops in effect, I have now made it possible to go forward in time, so the user wouldn't be stuck behind time, so to speak." He finished with a chuckle.

Both women sat open mouthed, staring at the bumbling man in the picture frame.

He took a a quiet breath before continuing.

"Have you, Miss Granger, heard of the term 'our memories are our greatest weapon'?"

Hermione looked at Dumbledore with a face filled with puzzlement. "Erm, sorry no professor, I have not. Who said it?"

The eyes lit up once more, "Me!" He responded in a warm chuckle, which made his gold, ornate picture frame shake with vibrations.

"Just now dear girl..."

The mood slid to a more darker tone.

"And that is what you need to do."

Hermione sat in silence, staring at the eager faces, of the two most respected professors in Hogwarts. Could she say no?

Of course she COULD say no.

But would she?

Not when Hermione could potentially save lives that were unessisarilly taken by the cause of the war?

Lupin?

Tonks?

Fred?

Moody?

...Snape?

Could she save all of them with the knowledge that she knew?

But then it hit her, "I could save my parents!" Hermione exclaimed with glee as she leapt off her chair, however her moment of pure joy was quickly washed away by the clearing of the throat of one Albus Dumbledore. "Unfortunately my dear girl, that would be impossible without creating paradoxes. Because in your past, you knew that you were going to take away your parents memories and you can't go back and change that. If you see yourself... Well, the consequences could be dire." Dumbledore looked over his half moon specticals. "However that doesn't mean that you can't save other lives..."

The young girl looked up, tears glistening in her eyes.

"You? Prof professor?"

Minerva inhaled sharply, she hadn't considered that.

"No dear girl, some deaths, like my own were meant to be... However, some were gone way before their time. Without a chance to truely be free, and to love again..." he was cut off. "Albus!" Minerva choked out.

Hermione sank back into her chair once again, taking in all the information.

After a moments silence she leant forward and addressed both teachers.

"I assume that we are going to need a plan?"

"Yes... However before we start planning, Hermione. Isn't there someone she should meet before she makes any decisions?"

"Oh... yes, good idea Minerva. Lead the way."

McGonagall rose from her seat and headed towards the back of the office, where the Headmasters library resided. Before Hermione could get distracted by the magnitude of books that stood before her, a gentle hand was placed on her shoulder. "We are not here to read miss Granger, although I do appreciate any student who loves book as much as myself... This is not the time."

Minerva lead Hermione to the far back of the room, where in the middle of all the books a portrait stood.

A blank portrait.

"He's probably behind the bookcases again, big nose in a book." She mermerd, as she tapped her wand on the side of the portrait.

"There's someone here to see you."

"I never have guest's. Nor do I want them. Nor do I need them!" A deep rumble of a voice resonated from the bookcases.

Minerva huffed. "Please Severus, just this once."

Silence.

There was a sound of ripping paper as the sullen face of one Professor Snape positioned himself in his painting.

His familiar strong face looked down on the very pale face of Hermione Granger. His black eyes stared deeply into her own, when an eyebrow raised and a smirk formed on his thin lips.

"Miss Granger, you look like you have seen a ghost?"

She swallowed.

"Well... S, S, Sir. The last time we met you were dyi..."

"Yes! I am aware!" He snapped. "So what are you doing here, I never have guests! What's so important, that I had to put a very interesting book down, to talk to the resident know-it-all?"

She lowered her head in embarrassment, and she softly replied. "I've been chosen to go back in time sir." Her voice lowered even more, "And I think the reason why I'm here, talking to you now sir, is to somehow convince me that you should be someone I should save."

Snapes cold face changed, Hermione wasn't sure how, prehaps softened a little. "Miss Granger, as noble as that sounds... There would be nothing but a prison cell waiting for me, if I lived." He spoke in an unusual way, a way Hermione was not familiar with, it seemed softer, slightly sadder, and even slightly friendlier.

Hermione stepped forward, with her Gryffindor courage she brought her hand up to gently touch Snapes canvassy strong face.

"Sir, it's not true. You won't be. And if I succeed you will always have me as a friend. Although you were never nice to me, I have always respected you sir. And once I knew the truth I knew what a brave selfless man you were. You didn't deserve to die that night sir. I know you don't like to hear it, but you are a hero."

Hermione looked at the man, who was once considered the most feared teacher at Hogwarts, looking sadly into her eyes. One singular tear fell from his eye and trickled down his canvas face, before slowly turning his head away.

Hermione knew that their conversation was over. She silently walked away towards the front of the office before she heard the soft rich bassy voice say one more thing. "Good luck Hermione..."

She remained with her back to him, although she did hear his words, so to spare him from embarrassment she didn't look back and continued her path back to the desk where Minerva was sat, once again.

She looked at Minerva, and then at Dumbledore before speaking once more.

"Yes. I'll go back."

Minerva said nothing but smiled warmly at her favoured student.

Dumbledore studied Hermione's face.

"Good. He needed someone, when he was in desperate need, but no one was there. He needed a friend Hermione. Although he seemed like the strongest man, his pain, guilt and suffering ate him on the inside. Believe me Miss Granger when I say. Severus Snape was a good man."

"Yes sir I believe that... What's the plan?"

 **Please review!!** _A/N: I am so sorry for the late posting, I am about to start my new job and have been busy learning the script and reading. I have had a bit of writers block lately but here is the next chapter, I hope you liked it, its all leading up to the time travel!_ _I will admit there probably wont be another chapter for a while and I do appologise for that! Its a mixture of christmas and my new job and that doesnt mix well with my ADHD so my brain will be so busy. But I WILL TRY! but it will probably be after christmas until you get the next one... Be warned! But we don't know, I could surprise you! And myself for that matter hahaha!_ _so yes! please Keep reviewing! I Love reading them! It keeps me inspired!_


	4. Chapter 4

**I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER.** **Chapter 4**

After a long three weeks later, Hermione stood in the heads office, holding a roll of parchment clasped in one hand, and a tube of memories in another.

The past few weeks had been tough for Hermione, she spent most of them with her head in a book reading. Although reading was a fun activity for miss Granger, she had put unessasary pressure on herself, like she did with her exams. However this wasn't an exam, the material Hermione was reading was intensive information about the difficult art of Legilemency and Occlumency. Hermione had discussed with Dumbledore about how they would go about helping their past selves, and came to the conclusion that being able to manipulate your own mind and the minds of others would be very key in their plan. However as solid as that plan sounded, it would not work out as well. As to be able to teach such a thing like mind magic, would usually require practice, but all who were gifted with the rare talent were unfortunately dead. So all Hermione could do for now was read. Read as much as she could muster.

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"Miss Granger... It would be wise to turn back to the middle of the summer holidays, just before your sixth year. That should give me some time to teach you what you need to know."

"Yes Sir."

Dumbledore looked at the nineteen year old for a few more seconds, before nodding his head and smiling warmly at her.

McGonagall placed the time turner in Hermione's small hands.

"We believe in you miss Granger..."

Hermione looked into McGonagall's eyes and felt her warmth and respect for one another embrace, she always looked at the Gryffindor as if she was her own.

Hermione looked around the office, then down at her hands.

"Remember, once Tom is no more, and Severus has given Harry his memories... You come back, to now. Which is exactly 5 months later."

"Yes Sir," Hermione spoke with a distracted tone as she saw black orbs looking at her from a distance. Fixed on the eyes, her feet moved without realisation toward the bookshelves.

"Sir..." Hermione breathed.

The portrait Snape bowed his head, however never breaking eye contact.

"I do not wish you to fail Miss Granger. However I will warn you, I am a difficult man. I may refuse help..." He stopped as he took in a deep breath, as if the next words hurt him to speak. "Death is empty. Not what I thought it would be. I thought freedom would welcome me as an old friend... But very much like my life, I do not have friends. No one welcomed me here..." He was staring the floor now. "... Persuade me. Let me live. Not matter what vile things I will say, ignore them. Show me our conversations... Granger, please, give me something to live for."

Tears where splashing into her hands, as she took in the words of the most misunderstood wizards that had ever lived. She knew what she would have to do... She knew this mission set by the heads, her main priority, their main regret, their what if.

Save Severus Snape.

Be there for him.

Hermione knew that. She thought about it a great deal, in bed at night, when reading her books, at meal times.

Seventeen full turns. Thats all it took. When she placed her hand on the turner, he never took her eyes off his portrait. She wanted this. She wanted to help.

With a tug in her stomach as time slid away from her, in a magical cacophony of timelapses that whizzed passed her eyes. She could see, briefly Snape, when he was Headmaster sitting in the library part of the office. The hours he must of spent there, as he dashed around passed Hermion in her backwards state.

When all of a sudden, it was like somebody had slammed on the breaks.

Everything stopped.

She had done it.

Hermione Granger is now in the past.

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Hermione was still in the back of the office, when she heard a violent squeak from fawlks. Dumbledores head turned slowly as he rose from his seat. His face was full of thought, however when he walked closer towards Hermione, his mouth turned upwards and the familiar warm grandfatherly smile, that Hermione had seen many times, was now plastered on his face.

"Ah... Miss Granger, as you are aware this is the holidays, my dear you are far too..."

Hermione wandlessly summoned his pensive, and gently ushered his head into the pool of memories.

After a few minutes Dumbledores head slowly emerged from the Pensive. His eyes glistening through his half moon spectacles.

"My dear, please sit down, while I arrange your accommodation for your stay here."

Suddenly he waved a hand and a list appeared. "Ah, and here are some spells that will come in to some use for you..."

Just as Dumbledore bumbled to the door he looked at Hermione one more time.

"It's very nice to have you back miss Granger, you will be the most powerful weapon to this war..."

 _A/N Hello! really sorry for leaving it for A while. I have started my new job and it's quite a few long days ahead for me. So uploads will be delayed. However I hope you like this chapter!_

 _please review!_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**. First of all can I just appologise for lack of updates! I have been super busy over the Christmas period, and January I was lazy and had a bit of writers block! However I am back! and don't worry, this fict and Moments have not been abandoned, just a tad neglected... BUT I'm back and will update more regularly. so please enjoy this next chapter! And leave reveiws please!

 **PLEASE NOTE THAT I DO NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM OWN HARRY POTTER.**

 **5**

 _"Miss Granger I wish for you to show this particular conversation to my past self..." Dumbledore spoke with a thoughtful tone._ _"As you can see for yourself that I do not survive this war, however, with Miss Granger here, we will end this war without having to make as many sacrifices as we did last time. One individual in particular would be one Severus Snape."_ _Albus in his frame paused, the tones of his voice breaking as he spoke. "We put too much pressure on the poor man, Miss Granger is here to help and support him through theese difficult times. As you are already aware Miss Granger here has an incredible mind, now even more valuable to you. Inform the most trusted of the Order, make them swear under oath and reveal her identity, however this does not include any of the younger Weasleys nor Harry or Miss Granger, yet, she will be informed later when the time is right. Oh and one more thing, give Miss Granger in depth training in legilemency and Occlumency."_

 _"Is that all Professor?"_

 _"Yes Miss Granger."_

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Three weeks had passed since Hermione had come back to the past. To most it does not seem like a long period of time at all, but to Hermione the last few weeks had been mentally draining and jam packed.

She spent most days being challenged by professor Dumbledore, intruding her mind and helping her build her shields. Honestly it didn't take Hermione long to master it, and quickly Dumbledore realised that the valuable information she had, was well and truly sucured within her mind.

As those weeks went by the new School term was approaching rapidly, she knew it would soon be time for more people to know about her exsistance.

"Good evening everybody." Dumbledore beamed, as he carefully watched the most trusted members of the Order clatter around the long kitchen of number 12.

"Albus!" Moody grunted.

"Please explain why not all the Order is invited, are they not worthy for this little party?"

Moody's magical eye scanned over to the four other members sitting intently at the table. Minerva McGonagall, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks.

"There is a reason for that Alastor."

Dumbledore's tone went darker as he stared intently into their eyes.

"The information I am about to reveal is highly secret and must not be told to anyone that is not in this room. And at the end of this meeting you will all be required to take an unbreakable vow not to disclose any of this information."

"So this must be important then." Tonks commented.

Dumbledore raised his hand to speak, but Moody, who was still surveying the kitchen, interrupted. "Although that may be the case Albus, this information must be too important for EVES DROPPERS to hear It? Isn't that right Miss Granger!"

Moody quickly cast a non verbal Finite, and suddenly Hermione Granger could be seen standing the corner of the room, looking horrified.

Before anyone could make a move towards her, Dumbledore stepped forward to block her from veiw.

He chuckled when he spoke, his blue eyes twinkling once more.

"Ah yes, you have spotted our guest for the meeting this evening."

That's when Hermione heard a roar of annoyed and confused voice's fill the room.

"Albus, what has Hermione have to do with all of this? She is too young, she is barely of the age of seventeen!"

"I must say Albus, that I agree with McGonagall on this one, why is Miss Granger involved?"

Hermione stood up, and stepped from behind Dumbledore and stood at the head of the table.

She looked at him for reassurance and permission to speak, which he responded by bowing his head.

"Firstly Professor McGonagall... I am not seventeen years old, I am in fact nineteen years old. Although you are not wrong however, I was and still am seventeen at this very present time. But that me doesn't know I'm here... yet."

Silence fell across the room. Faces looked back at this different Hermione Granger with exspresions of shock, disbelief, and confusion.

The silence disapted when McGonagall, looked at Albus and said,

"Do you mean that Miss Granger is..."

"Yes, from the future." Hermione said with a shy smile on her face.

"Yes that's all very well!" Moody barked, "But how do we know she is telling the truth?"

Dumbledore turned his head to look at Hermione, looking at her as if he were her grandfather. "Miss Granger, if you could be so kind as to show them what you know?"

He waved his wand and a pensive appeared.

"How much?" She looked at him, remembering her sheilds

"Enough for everyone to understand"

And with that Hermione selected cirtain moments of the war, and placed the silvery liquid into the pensive.

As the rest of the Order had their heads in the pensive, Dumbledore once more turned to Hermione.

"If you don't mind me asking Miss Granger, what information are they being shown."

"The moment Voldemort was defeated sir. All of the other memories would have been too sensitive, if you understand what I mean sir."

"Very good Hermione."

He smiled at her.

A few moments later the Order pulled out of the pensive, with faces full of joy and relief, knowing that the Dark Lord would finally fall after all those years of fighting.

However after seeing their faces light, Hermione felt a pang of guilt rush over her, knowing that, in her reality, all but two of the people in the room would not live to see the end.

It all felt too much for Hermione, knowing that this plan was not just, what if Severus could be saved. She knew now she would have to work hard to make sure that none of theese good people had to die. Although she knew in the back of her mind that some death would be inevitable, and one that she couldn't stop, because it was all a part of his plan.

Hermione let her breathing get back to normal as she threw up her Occlumency shields to control her emotions.

She was suddenly bought back to reality when Remus put his hand on her shoulder. "You are a very spectacular young witch aren't You."

Hermione smiled at her friend.

She loved Remus, she looked up to the man a great deal, as did Harry.

She couldn't let him die.

"Thank you Remus," She beamed at him. "I have to go back to the school now, but I will see you again soon, take care."

Hermione then sudden flung her arms around him as if she hadn't seen him for months.


	6. Chapter 6

**I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER**

 _A/N Thank you to everyone that has been reviewing and encouraging me to write more! Thank you for all being patient. I really do hope you enjoy this next chapter, although I do not usually do warnings but this chapter has a little bit of dark stuff. If you do not like dark stuff, dark angsty, this chapter isnt for you. I mean this is one of the reasons its an M, M for a reson folks!_ _Right! Enjoy this next chapter and please follow and review!_

 _much love._

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On the run up to final days before the school started for the new year, Hermione did Not see Professor Dumbledore. Apparently he always went away on holiday 3 days before school starts. However Hermione knew this was a lie and knew why she hadnt seen him, she knew he was still in the castle. She knew this moment. Everything would start to fall into place. To help the one man who risked so much last time.

The clock tower had struck 11pm when, Hermione Granger, was summoned up to the headmasters office.

When she opened the door she saw a tired looking Albus Dumbledore sitting at his desk tending to Fawkes.

He looked so tired and dare she even think it? Old, and frail.

He acknowledged Hermione with a nod of his head, and gently gestured for her to sit down.

She stared into his eyes knowing what he was going to say.

"You have told him haven't you?" She asked, with a hint of nervous uncertainty to her voice.

"Yes..." he sighed, "As much as it is a gift that you are helping us Hermione, I wish that it was not necessary to place this task with Severus, alas we both know it's imperative that he does."

Hermione looked at him earnestly.

"It is sir..."

The both of them sat in comfortable silence until Dumbledore spoke once more.

"Miss Granger, as we have discussed, your room have been moved next to Severus's. This is for your convenience, to aid him, for what I feel will be a difficult year for him."

"I believe Miss Granger it is now time for your first, of perhaps many, difficult situations for yourself. I have faith that you will make Severus see reason."

"Well I hope so Proffesor."

Dumbledore left her with a warm smile and Hermione descended down to the dungeons.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Severus sat in his chair facing the fire in his chambers. He could usually feel the warmth from the glow of the burning embers, or the scolding sensation from the firewhiskey when he drank it down. However tonight, Severus Snape could feel nothing. He felt numb. He felt nothing like he was just existing for no reason.

Nothing mattered anymore, what was the point really of living? Oh yes to please the two masters who ruled his life and made it hell.

No one would miss him. No one would miss him if he just ended his life.

Severus contemplated deeply, about his life and choice he had made, into his glass, and swilled the liquid around, before sighing and lifting the tumbler in the air.

"Damn you Albus."

The glass dropped.

And so had his shields, releasing a torrent of emotion to come out of the private man. His knees dropped to the floor as he sobbed by the fire.

He picked up a piece of the broken glass, that was scattered around him, and began to squeeze.

He could see streaks of scarlet cover the shard and then drop onto the floor a bled into the stone floor underneath him.

He carried on watching his artistic display feeling nothing, still numb, thinking at least this would make him feel something. He want to feel pain. His pain. Somebody's pain. Anything to not feel numb. He was sick and tired of feeling nothing.

A slight tingle could be felt from the residue of the whiskey reaching his wounds. At the realisation of this sensation he was now feeling, Severus dropped the shard and curled up in the foetal position by the fire and drifted into a sleep, letting the feeling of his own tears rolling down his cheek, lulling him into his slumber.

Hermione had stood there and watched it all. The whole display. Her heart broke for this man, this man that had been put through hell. Well he may have not been awfully pleasent to her. Yet she still believed that deep down, even though he didn't know it yet, he needed her.

She listened to his soft huffs of breath as he slept. Hermione slowly creeped around his quarters and silently crouched down beside him.

She could smell the whiskey on his breath and from the floor, and suspected that he would not wake easily. So she took that risk and began tending to his hand.

The world span beneath Severus's eyes as he delved in and out of consciousness. The feeling was like nothing he had felt before. He felt like he was floating on a rickety raft on a calm, lazy stream. He felt paralysed, yet he had the sensation of numbness in his hand. It might of been from the glass, or the mass amount of alcohol he had consumed, although none of it mattered anymore.

He will wake in the early hours of the morning, with a headache from hell, all to resume his stupid, pointless life once again.

What was so different about this time? Honestly? He didnt know? He had drank himself to oblivion before, but something did feel strange. However he couldn't quite put his finger on it...

Well not a finger exactly... His hand!

In his unconsciousness he realised that his hand felt strange, it wasn't the wound, that would be a different sensation entirely!

It was impossible, but it felt like someone was touching his hand.

Hermione wiped her brow in deep focus as she wiped away Snapes blood from his hand and begun healing.

When the gash had been healed, Hermione gently placed his hand back on the ground, and finally let go of the breath she was holding. However just as the breath left her lungs, Snapes eyes fluttered open briefly, before groaning out loud.

"Granger?"

Then he quickly returned back to his unconsciousness.

Hermione then knew it was time that she retired back to her secret rooms, curious of what Snapes reaction would be tomorrow.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

The next morning Hermione woke up to the sound of a conversation. No, a heated conversation. No... An argument.

"Mrs Weasley! This is the last time I will ask! Is Miss Granger there? Well? I'm a busy man! I do not have all day woman... ARGH FINE!"

Severus's head emerged from the fireplace with a face like thunder.

Puzzlement filled his face as he sat in his chair staring at his healed hand.

How did it happen?

And why did Miss Granger, well a more mature Miss Granger, end up in his rooms.

Oh this is going to be a long day.

Suddenly the flames to Snapes room lit up.

"Erm Sir? Mrs Weasley said you were trying to find me. Have I done something wrong? "

It was Granger, time to work put this mystery!

Snape snorted his response. "Wrong? You could say that! What is wrong, is your lack of privacy Miss Granger! Just because you are apart of the presous golden trio, does not mean you can come gallavanting through the orders fireplace and come into my rooms! Do I make myself clear Miss Granger?!"

"Yes Sir... But..."

"But what Miss Granger?"

"I haven't been anywhere near Hogwarts sir. And also I only arrived at the burrow, from my parents house, early this morning. Sir, I don't mean to be rude, but are you sure it wasn't a dream?"

A dream? Was she serious?! That girl had some balls though, no one would talk to Snape like that.

He quickly cancelled the call and summoned a coffee and a newspaper, and just carried on with his day, like nothing special had occurred, for example Granger in his dreams or in his room.


	7. Chapter 7

I dont own Harry Potter.

 **Chapter 7**

"Thisss is not enough information Severus, and for that, you shall be punished."

"Crusio!"

The bolt of red filled with pain rushed through Severus's body.

Ah another day at the office, as Severus thrashed about on the cold marbled floor of Malfoy Mannor.

After the crusio had subsided, Severus couldn't feel a muscle in his body, everything went cold and numb, and he knew for certain that he couldn't just get up and apperate away.

Thankfully he was rather inept with wandless magic and summoned his emergency portkey to his unfeeling dead hand. Thankfully, Severus Snape was a clever and well prepared man, and was ready for scenarios such as this.

So with a creaky voice he muttered the words to trigger the portkey back to his private rooms.

Xxxx

Hermione was waiting for the right time. She knew what she needed to do, Yet, she was terrified. She knew all she needed to do was show him and then pray to Merlin that he wouldn't hex her to oblivion.

Weeks had passed and Hermione felt like she was getting somewhere, she was thankful that Dumbledore had added her own lab and library to work on an antidote for Naginis venom. However there was one thing that Hermione knew that she hadn't done one thing, one major thing, one imperitively important thing, that she just kept delaying... Which was facing Snape.

Hermione thought about her options a great deal. She could just complete the antidote, fast forward to the end of the war, heal him and be done with it. However it wasn't that simple? She wouldn't of achieved anything, yes, Snape would live, but she knew, after the convosation with his portrait, that he would still be the lonely bitter man who lived day by day wallowing in his own regret and loneliness.

It was an option.

But one Hermione knew wasn't the right path to take.

She saw what his reaction was after Dumbledore laid his plans on Severus, no one should go through that alone.

Come on Hermione where is that Gryffindor courage?

Xxxx

His body landed with a thump on the dungeon floor. He could smell the familiar scent of the castle, which bought him am odd sence comfort while in this this painful state.

He clambered over to his potions cabinet and just as he reached his goal, and had the vials in sight, all of a sudden unconsciousness hit him like a brick wall, and Severus Snape was out like a light.

Hermione's eyes shot up from her book, and stared at her door. Something wasn't right. She looked at her watch, this was later than the usual time Severus would return from a death eater meeting, and usually she would hear the clatter of glass and the sound of liquid hitting the tumbler, but right now? She heard nothing.

Xxx

The morning light burned his eyelids before he even opened them. Last night was close. He never usually needed to use his emergency portkey, hence why it was an emergency portkey. But last night had Severus seriously question his own mortality, and he really could not afford any more meetings like that.

His eyes felt like they were being weighed down by lead, but once his groggy eyes had opened he was instantly hit with a state of confusion.

Before he lost his consiousness he clearly remembered making his way to his potions cabinet and cloapsing on the floor. So why was he not on the floor? Why was he in his rooms, in his bed, completely healed?!

Before Severus even had a chance to play back his memories from last night in his head, he was completely snapped back into reality when he heard a shuffle of feet in his rooms. He was clearly not alone.

As quick as a flash Severus held his wand out pointing in the direction of the foreign noise.

"It would be wise if you stepped out of that corner and reveal yourself, before I change my mind and kill you right now without knowing... WHY YOU ARE HERE!" Snape spat out with a snarl with a dark fire biting in his eyes.

Hermione gently let out a breath, to compose herself, before dropping the charm.

She quickly knew that she had her work cut out for her when she saw black blurr of Severus Snape pin her against the wall. Feeling his fingers, and hot jagged breath around her neck.

"Miss Granger you better have a good reason why you have intruded into my personal rooms?"

Her eyes sparked with fear.

"I do. Sir. I'm, I'm here to help you."

"Help me? What is a 6th year Gryffindor going to do to help me?"

Snape stepped back, with an evil smile gracing his mouth.

"I can't wait to see the look on McGonagall's and Potter's face when Dumbledore expels the princess of Gryffindor for this unacceptable breach of the school rules."

Hermione could of said and done many things in this situation, yet she completely shocked herself, and Severus when she laughed at him.

"I'm sorry sir, but you must be mistaken because, I am not the 6th year you speak off. Technically, Sir, I am no longer a student here at Hogwarts."

He could not believe his ears, what was Granger playing at?

"Cease this stupidity this instance!" He hissed.

So she did.

"Sir, 6th year Hermione Granger, is probably got her head in a book. But I am not her, well not her anymore."

Severus stared at her, there were very few moments in his life where he felt completely confused, but he was ashamed to say that in that moment he felt confused. However as he was processing the information, he couldn't help but notice that she did look different. More mature, prehaps more tonned, but the one thing he had noticed upbove everything else, was how beautiful she looked compared to her 6th year counterpart.

Suddenly he cleared his throat and spoke.

"Then who are You? And why are you HERE??" He spoke in a low curious tone.

Hermione swallowed her pride and took a deep breath, before stepping towards him and placing her hand on his chest.

A part of her mind thought that maybe she stepped too far with that, seeing that she was already in a precarious position. But she didn't care, she knew this was the time. She wanted to help him, so she would do what she must to prove that her intentions were true.

"Let me show you... Severus."

He stood there for a second looking at this woman.

"Very well." He spoke, before delving into her selected memories.

 **A.N Thank you for your paitents, hope you enjoy this New chapter, and dont forget to leave a review!**


	8. Chapter 8

I DONT OWN HARRY POTTER.

Chapter 8

Severus glided through her memories like a warm knife through butter. He was confused at how she could just allow him in with such ease, yet when he tried to penetrate deeper he was instantly blocked.

 _Jesus Woman?! Who taught you Occlumency?!_ _Women? It's Granger. May be an older, more mature Granger, but it's still that little swot you taught since she was 11 years old!_

Severus allowed himself a second to recover after plummeting full force into Hermione's solid mind walls. Once he had regained his focus, he felt himself being pulled into one of her memories. It must of been a memory of great importance as he found himself unable to look at anything else, it was almost like Hermione Granger had control over THE Severus Snape in her mind.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The memories played back to him like he was watching a film in a muggle cinema.

The information that was shown, took Severus back.

When he released himself from her mind, he just stood there, staring at her.

Hermione just stood there watching Severus stare at her, it was as if she was some kind of rare enigma that he had never seen before in his life, and that he was trying to solve her unfathomable puzzle before she burst into flames, never to be seen again.

A few minutes had passed when Severus finally spoke to her, "Very well then, Miss Granger. That was rather insitefull... However I do not have time for idle chit chat in this present moment. So if you would kindly exit my chambers, and go back to... Where ever you are residing currently, and we can discuss... This, later."

Hermione nodded, and knew not to push further, so she nodded slightly and left Severus alone in his rooms.

He watched as the door swiftly shut behind her. He wondered if he just kept staring at the wooden door that he might be able to burn holes into it.

After a few more minutes of door watching, he sat back down on his bed and put his hands through his hair.

The future.

She came from the future.

To save him?

Why would anyone in their right mind want to do that? Especially for him?

Yet his mind was bought back to the conversation his future self, had with Miss Granger...

So, if she changed nothing he would die? But what if he wanted to die?

 _"Death is empty. Not what I thought it would be. I thought freedom would welcome me as an old friend... But very much like my life, I do not have friends. No one welcomed me here..."_

The words of that memory echoed in his mind. So there was nothing waiting for him? No Lily? After everything? After everything he had sacrificed to amend for his sins, all for her would be for Nothing?

 _I died, and she never greeted me..._ _Maybe Granger being here isn't a bad thing, if she succeeds... But then what? They all want me to have a second chance, a second chance for what! Love?_ _Who in their right minds would want to love me?_ _They said that I will be seen as a hero, that may be the case, but nobody would understand . No one would ever understand what I have had to endure all of these years, especially the past weeks..._

Severus paused.

Suddenly he realised.

 _Granger! That's why he sent her... Oh that Meddeling old Coot Dumbledore! Even from the grave he thinks he's bloody St Valentine!_

Severus huffed, today was going to be a long day.

Xxxxxxxxxx

The evening light from the sunset glowed into the little window of the dungeons, creating a warm orange glow that spread across the dreary room.

Severus made his way to what he presumed were Hermione's rooms, he came to this conclusion when he noticed a door in his chambers which had not existed before. How had he not noticed it before? He is a spy for crying out loud!

However he only noticed it today, which made him realise that she must have kept it under a disillusion charm until she revealed herself to him.

Mmm your future self Miss Granger, has more common sense than your current counterpart.

He smirked to himself as he gently knocked on the door.

As he waited for the witch to open the door he could distinctivly hear the muffled sounds of closing books and the clatter of cauldrons.

When Hermione opened the door, she had the look of somone who had been working in a hot kitchen. As her hair was slightly frizzed and pulled back into a messy bun, and her cheeks were flushed.

However Severus found that she looked remarkably beautiful like that, although he would never mention it.

"Good Evening... Sir." Hermione greeted him with coy smile, although she still seemed a little bit flustered.

"May I help you with anything sir?"

"Well Miss Granger, I was rather hoping that we could discuss some... issues, so to speak. Would you join me to a night cap?" He asked, pointing at his sofa by the lit fire.

They both sat down and Severus summoned a bottle, poured two glasses and handed one to Hermione.

She looked down at her glass and willed her hand to stop shaking. To say that Hermione was feeling apprehensive about this 'discussion' was an understatement. However she also felt rather confused but slightly pleased that Severus hadn't bitten her head off.

Suddenly Hermione was brought back out of her thoughts when she heard him clear his throat, it also occurred to her how close the proximity was between them.

"Miss Granger, you are supposed to put your lips to your glass, that whisky isn't going to suddenly float into your mouth." He smoothly spoke into her ear.

Shaking her head slightly, she turned to look at him, feeling nervous.

"I'm sorry sir, I must admit that I feel slightly apprehensive..." She then chuckled, "When you knocked on my door I half expected you to chuck me out and send me back to my own time." She looked back down at her glass again.

"Honestly, I did considered it... However I came to the conclusion that if I did, it would be quite a waste of time, so to speak."

Hermione almost choked on her drink.

"Sir?! Did you just make a joke?"

"I belive I did, contrary to popular belief's I'm not completely made out of stone, Miss Gran... May I call you Hermione?"

" As long as I get to call you Severus, its only fair." She looked at him in such a way that even shocked herself, was she flirting?

"Indeed." He purred.

"Miss... Hermione?"

"Yes?"

She looked into his endless eyes, but noticed a hint of something... was he nervous?

"I wanted to thank you for this morning, I will admit that I did come back in a rather bad shape, the dark Lord was rather frivolous with his punishments last night. If you were not there to help me, I probably would be..."

"Severus..." She gently placed her hand on his, surprisingly his hand didn't move away.

"Severus, you have and will do so much more for us. Plus I couldn't bare seeing you like this."

She turned to look at him.

"You deserve so much more Severus Snape."

Her eyes glittered with honesty, and respect for him. No one had ever looked at him like that...

He quickly looked back at the fire.

"That's debatable Miss Granger," He looked at his watch and faked a yawn.

"Thank you for this discussion, however I must take my leave as it is rather late, and papers will not mark themselves. Good night."

He stood up and made his way towards his bedroom, but silently turned to look at her once more.

"Hermione, prove to me that I have something to live for."

And with that, he went to bed.

With his thoughts all focused on one Hermione Granger.

 **Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I don't own ANYTHING!** **A.N I hope you enjoy this next chapter! And don't forget to review and tell me what you think! I really do appreciate all the love and comments this fict had received so far! much love!**

* * *

Chapter 9

* * *

He didn't want to do it, you could tell that he didn't want to do it.

Hermione saw it in his eyes.

She didn't witness the first time when Snape cast that spell on Dumbledore.

This time she watched, although Severus protested, Hermione still persisted. She used the Invisibility spell Dumbledore blessed her with, she knew to only use it wisely, but this was such a gargantuous moment in Severus's life, so she HAD to be there.

Had Hermione watched the scene the first time, she would have thought Snape would of had his sheilds impossibly tight to not let an iota of emotion loose. However after living in such close proximity to him, for months, she had started to recognise his emotional tells. So when she watched him in that moment, Hermione could tell that Severus Snape was far from being emotionless.

There was a slight sheen of sweat on his brow, and his lips began trembling.

His grasp was so tight around his wand that it looked like his knuckles were about to burst out.

* * *

The weeks had turned into months, and ever since that first real discussion with the future Miss Granger, cohabitating with her was a great deal easier than Severus Snape would of anticipated.

During the day Severus would teach and Hermione would stay in her labs. He was very surprised that she was so open when he inquired upon what she was brewing in her chambers. Furthermore when he offered to aid her, she agreed.

However, what had stumped the man completely, was the fact that the more time he spent with her, the more enjoyable he found her company.

It wasn't just when they were brewing, or when they shared meals together, or even when they spent the evenings together. It was the fact that everytime he had a terrible day of teaching, or whenever he came back all battered and bruised from the death eater meetings, that she would be there by his side to help him.

At first he hated being doted on, and swotted her away. Yet the witch was persistent and would be there everytime. Her presence comforted him now, she gave him a sense of familiarity that Severus Snape had never had in his life.

He already knew that THIS Hermione Granger was extremely attractive, but what he refused to think about, for now, was how much he was infact falling for her.

* * *

Severus placed his marking carelessly on the coffee table in his quarters, before heavily plonking himself onto his leather sofa. Without noticing, Hermione had shoved a steamy mug of tea into his hands. "It's going to happen soon. I can feel it."

"What makes you think That?"

"It's all quiet. As you have probably noticed that I haven't been summoned in weeks, and Potter has not attempted to murder my God son lately either... We must be ready."

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"I'm coming with you."

"Miss Granger..."

"I'M COMING, end of."

"...on your head be it."

"Ok."

"Fine... But I would highly suggest you have everything packed away to leave in a moments notice. I won't be welcome here much longer. Unless you would rather stay here? Be my guest. It would be lovely to have my personal space back."

"Oh but you would miss me far too much Severus..."

"Indeed."

* * *

Severus looked deeply into pleading, puppy dog eyes of Albus Dumbledore. All Snape needed to hear were the words, and the unforgivable would slip out of his mouth, and coldly murder the leader of the light.

Severus was in hypersensitive mode, time had slowed, he was aware of everything. The sweat coating his wand handle. The hot stench of death from the death eaters. He even thought that he could hear Albus's heart beating.

But none of that mattered when Albus suddenly pleaded the words, "Severus, please."

Bells rang aloud in his mind, it was time. However Severus did not have that long to think about anything, as the dreaded words were already spilling out of his mouth.

"Avada kadavra."

Hermione had heard that spell many times, however hearing those words coming from the man, she deeply respected, and felt deeply connected to, hurt her. However it may have hurt her, but she knew why, and realised how much saying those words must of hurt him. Although all of those thoughts were swimming around in her head, she had no time. It was time to go.

She stealthily ran after Severus, making sure she had silencing charms on her shoes.

She only stopped to move out of the way when she heard the cries of her best friend, shouting at Severus.

 _If only you knew what he had to go through Harry._

After running for what felt like years, the other death eaters started to disperse and apperate away. Hermione made her way to Severus, and gently placed her hand on his back to let her presence known.

They quickly apperated out of the forbidden forest.

* * *

It had been 10 minutes since they both landed in spinners end, however neither party had spoke a word, they both sat in silence.

The tension lifted slightly when Snape lifted his hand and his fire started to crackle. He got up, silently, and sat down by the fire.

It wasn't long until Hermione could hear little sobs coming from such a stoic man.

She was by his side in a heart beat.

"Ssh I'm here Severus, I will never leave you."

Her hand gently stroked his hair, and all Severus could feel was how safe he felt to be in held by her.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?"

He leant forward so his lips were by her ears.

"I... Thank you."

They both turned to face each other, both their faces glowing from the crackling fire.

Severus slowly leaned in and bought his hand to caress her cheek, when he suddenly started to ghost his lips over hers, slightly hesitant, but just to give her enough time to pull away if she wanted to. To his surprise she didn't, so he made his kiss slightly firmer.

 _God's that man can kiss!_ Hermione thought to herself.

Once he pulled away from the sweet kiss, they both wrapped themselves in each other's arms and lay down together, being lulled by the warmth of the fire.


	10. Chapter 10

**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING TO DO WITH HARRY POTTER!!** **A/N Hello! Just a quick thanks to everyone who is following and favoriting (if thats a word, sorry if it isn't) this fict! I really hope you are enjoying it and please keep reviewing, I love to read them and they do inspire me, also I do take what you write into consideration!** **So! Here is, I think, the longest chapter yet! enjoy! Hope its ok!!**

* * *

Chapter 10

* * *

It was about 6:00 a.m. when Severus started to regain consciousness, from what had been the deepest slumber he had experienced in months. He could feel the slight warmness of the sun, which had leaked through the tatty curtain that resided in the living room of his childhood home. It made him feel like his face was glowing with a soothing warmth, which distracted him from the lingering smell of old ash from the previous evenings fire.

It was indeed that musty, stale, old burnt scent that bought Severus to his senses. That, and the fact he had lost feeling in his right arm, from apparently deciding that it would be a splendid, wise idea to sleep on a rather scratchy, and not to mention dusty, old carpet by the fire.

With a strained groan, he started to stretch what felt like an ancient body, with all the clicks and pops that came from him.

Severus lay there silently and still as he stared at the ceiling, only when he heard a huff of breath beside him, all the memories from the night before came flooding back into his head. Dumbledore. Death. Murder...

Followed by, Hermione and Kiss.

Severus, feeling slightly panicked, rushed up swiftly to his feet to observe the sleeping woman.

She looked so small and fragile, all curled up on the floor. She reminded him of a baby bird laying helplessly, waiting for its mother to rescue them.

Severus shocked himself as he had the sudden urge to pick her up and press his lips to her soft cheek. He had the opportunity to... Yet why would he do such a ludacris thing as that?!

It was refreshing to feel the cold morning breeze, as Severus stalked along the stone cobbled street of Spinners End. He wasn't used to walking outside the street without a cause, but yet he needed to. He needed to think without any distractions, and of course a beautiful sleeping witch on his living room floor was a big distraction.

 _It was a moment of weakness, a lapse of judgement. Nothing more. She was just there at a time I needed comfort. I had just killed, more like stone cold murdered, one of the greatest wizards that had ever lived. My emotions were not in control. It was a mistake..._

 _And yet, she responded back. Why on earth would she do that? Silly girl. Stupid girl. Why would she feel anything for me? I'm twice her age! And not to mention... HER BLOODY TEACHER!_

It was hopeless, Severus couldn't understand why he did it, and it annoyed him. Greatly.

By the time Hermione had woken up, the sun had risen and the day had begun. What caught her eye, when she had sat up from the floor, was the black mass of robes that was Severus snape sitting in the armchair. He wasn't looking at her, but in her direction. With the look of deep thought plastered on his face.

When he finally spoke to her, he refused to give her eye contact. Which sprung a pang of sadness over her, it felt like she was back to her first interaction with him, all those months ago when she revealed her identity with him. She thought they had connected more than that. Obviously she was wrong.

"Go back to Hogwarts Granger. Your presence is no longer necessary here. I have briefly opened my floo. Use it. And get out."

* * *

5 Weeks later

A new school year was approaching. Hermione knew what was coming, and so did the castle apparently.

It had happened a few days ago when Hermione had been sleeping, she was deep in slumber when she felt the walls and the ground under her shift. As quick as a flash she was out of her bed and eagerly investigating what had happened. _Of course!_ She berated herself for being so naive. _How could I forget that?_

She opened her door, which used to open to Severus's quarters, however now it lead to a different private room.

"Headmasters room." Hermione breathed.

He would be back soon.

After being coldly sent back to Hogwarts, Hermione felt like she had just been grounded. Freedom of the castle was not really an option, she knew that most of the teachers spent their summers in the castle, although some of the order knew of her presence, they didn't know the whole truth and reasoning to why she was there.

Which was ultimately to be a confidant and support for Snape.

Hermione spent the first couple of days festering her fury in her confinement, her imprisonment. How dare he turn around and be so frosty to her, and discard her away like an old toy a child had out grown. She would pace furiously across her room contemplating if she should just use her time turner to go forward the final battle and be done with it.

Save him and get on with her life.

He didn't really mean anything to her, if anything he was being burden, regardless if he deserved to live or not, she had her own healing to do.

Although every time Hermione would go towards her time turner (which had been adapted by herself and Dumbledore during her training, to enable her to travel forward back to her original time.), there would always be that niggling feeling, at the back of her mind that would stop her. The feeling and memories would overcome her anger and remind her of the Snape that she had become familiar with. Also not to mention the sensation of his soft lips on hers, and the way her stomach flipped as they gently held each other.

After a while Hermione became accustomed to the waiting. As she knew, even if he didn't, that he would be back. As the Headmaster.

From what Hermione remembered, from the memories he gave Harry and from the informative conversations with his painting, Snape loathed being headmaster. He hated punishing and torturing innocent children. Although Snape would consider himself a bad man, he would never lower himself to harm an innocent child under his care, even if it was Longbottom, he would never let that happen. Hermione could remember the hatred in his voice as he talked from his painting about the Carrows, and the disturbing acts they performed on the students, and also the sorrow in his eyes that he felt utterly hopeless, and utterly alone.

This is what spurred her on, no one deserved to feel like that... Even if he did act like an utter twat, Hermione would not act childish, she would be mature about it.

* * *

Severus Snape was an idiot, and he knew it. As soon as she looked at him, just as she disappeared in green flames. He saw the hurt in her hazel eyes. Severus made a mistake and overreacted but he was too proud to do anything about it. He couldn't take anything back, let alone running back to Hogwarts after her like a little puppy, he would be shunned away, it would be obvious he wouldn't be welcome. Hogwarts was not his home anymore.

The weeks came and went one after the other, and after each day his heart ached for Hermiones company, although at the time he may have seemed to be annoyed by her presence that was not the case. He cherished the moments she would sit with him and have intellectual debates with her, even just knowing she was in the next room kept him going.

Severus contemplated many times over the weeks, that maybe if he opened up to Hermione instead of pushing her away, even after that kiss. The whole situation would of been much more tolerable. Mainly because he wouldn't have to be alone.

His heart would sink. His house and life became darker and bleaker, and each time he was summoned, keeping up his death eater charade was becoming increasingly more difficult.

He wanted to give up. Severus also found himself falling into the habit of drinking and crying himself to sleep.

This was not what he wanted anymore. He wanted it to end.

He ruined the only thing that was giving him hope in this shit storm of a war...

That was until he received an unexpected letter, from an unknown owl. Announcing him, Severus Snape, as the new headmaster of Hogwarts.

* * *

A whole week he waited.

A whole week she knew.

They both knew it was going to happen at some point. Neither knew who was going to make the first move.

Severus hated it, he wanted to get it over with. She was like a drug to him, he craved her, he craved her light to snuff out the darkness that dwelled inside.

Knowing that she was just behind one enchanted door was doing his head in. He had enough.

The first staff meeting had just finished and Severus felt drained, he felt dirty. He acted like he could see their looks, but he could. He just wanted to scream, "It's all an act! This is what he ordered me to do!" But he knew he couldn't do that.

The evening had fallen and night was upon the castle. The glass in Severus hand was suddenly thrown across the room.

The glass resembled Severus's true emotions.

Broken.

Fire filled his body, shame filled his lungs as he cried from the top of his voice, "I GIVE UP!"

Hot tears trailed down his cheeks.

Before Severus knew it his fists where pounding against ancient stone of the castle. The more he threw his fists at the stone, the redder it was becoming, he marveled at the sight, the pain was so refreshing and he craved it.

"SEVERUS! STOP."

His breath caught in his throat.

"Severus please..." It was softer this time.

The words caressed his ears, hearing his name on her lips made his mouth go dry.

Snapes forehead rested on the bloody stone.

"I... I cant..." he pleaded.

The words wanted to come out but they just refused.

"Please... Please don't push me away again. This isn't healthy... Severus... Please."

He petit body was pressed against his back, her warm arms wrapped around him, squeezing him, and reassuring him that she wasn't going to let go any time soon.

After what felt like hours of being held by Hermione, Severus stepped away from her saying nothing, hoping she would follow. She did.

He sat down. When he felt her sit next to him he turned his body to face her.

His eyes searched her face, then her body, then her face again. Just knowing she was next to him soothed him.

"Hermione..." He breathed.

"I was foolish. I overreacted..."

"You were, and you did." She spoke frankly.

"I could of left you know..."

Slight shock and confusion showed on his face. "Then why didn't you?" He whispered so softly that she almost didn't hear him.

"That would of been selfish Severus."

He turned and grabbed her hands firmly.

"No! Hermione. Why? I deserve none of this... None of you! I dont deserve the light that you have become! I dont deserve your kindness, nor your beauty... I should die. Why change what I deserve."

He went to drop her hands but she then held on.

"I know you are not an easy man Severus Snape, but to leave after just one act of coldness, compared to EVERYTHING you have done for us?! That would be foolish. Besides if I had gone back to find out that this had caused you more pain... It would have... Broken my heart..."

"Severus... You mean too much to me now."

"You don't mean that."

"I do. More than I care to admit." She said clearing her throat.

"Right..." She smiled at him warmly,

"No more punching the castle please, it has feelings you know."

Silence.

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't know what I would do without you."

"Probably something stupid." She teased lightly.

"Probably..."


	11. Chapter 11

I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

 **A/N: Hello! new chapter! Hope you enjoy! This one went a bit a dark but I hope its still enjoyable to read.** **Thank you to everyone who has followed and reviewed, I appreciate them greatly! I know, from what I have read, that people hope this fict is long... ME TOO! Although I am ready to bring Hermione back soon, but it wont be done once she is back I have plans! Please Enjoy and tell me what you think!!**

* * *

Chapter 11

* * *

The only word that came to Severus's head when he saw the students, HIS students, of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Marching emotionless across the grounds was soldiers.

A word that should definitely not describe a whole school full of children. And that's what they remain to be, even under that soldier facade, they were are still children.

It made Severus feel physically sick.

This war had poisoned their minds, moulded them into something no child should ever experience...

Yet here they were.

His hawk like vision honed into the Carrows, who were galavanting carefreely, running rings around the students. It revolted him to the core, the reasoning?

They had the same mindset as Bellatrix. Ruthless, heartless and cold. And not to mention how she seemed to get off on other peoples pain...

He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but Bella mildly concerned him, not because of her power, or position with the dark lord. No, it was the way she treated him.

In the past, during revels, it was a known thing that death eaters liked to enjoy themselves, and partake in certain... Activities. Bella in particular, she, from very early on had taken a shining towards the potions master, although he had no interest what so ever in return.

She would always sit next to him during important meetings, but it would be very clear to Severus that her focus would not always be on the meeting. She basked in the glory of sexually embarrassing her victims, she really did have no mercy.

That's what is was, Mercy... Neither the Carrows or Lestrange had Mercy.

* * *

"I'm surprised I'm not gray yet..." Severus grumbled as he sat in his armchair by the fire. "Who was it this time?" Hermione asked, although her attention wasn't wholly on him.

"Who wasn't it?!" He snapped.

"Bloody Gryffindors, first having to deliver that fucking Sword last night, and Longbottom being an utter dunderhead, I'm sure they will all be the death of me I swear."

Hermione looked up at him from the book that occupied her lap, and smiled.

"Hopefully not Severus, that's the aim... Hey, come sit with me."

He raised he signature eyebrow.

"Stop being a spoil sport and come here, sit with me."

Hermione still found it difficult to sometimes touch Severus. Although she knew that they had acknowledged that there was mutual attraction from both parties, it was never spoken about.

It just reminded her that Severus was still healing, and sometimes she had to be patient.

Eventually of his own accord, he joined her. Silently he slowly relaxed into the back of the sofa. To Hermione's surprise she suddenly felt his head rest on he shoulder.

Even just this small act of tenderness made Hermione's heart swell, she knew that opening up to people was an incredibly difficult task to undertake, especially when your name is Severus Snape.

"Believe it or not Hermione, I dispise this situation... However I find your presence to be a welcoming light... To me."

She didn't reply, however she did bring one arm around him and hugged him.

"Hermione?" He whispered.

"Yes?"

Severus paused to turn to look into her deep brown eyes.

"Forgive me if I am too forward when I say this."

Hermione could see a pained look in his eyes, obviously it was difficult for him to bear his soul to her.

He shifted around on the sofa, clearly feeling awkward.

He stopped and grabbed her hands. Placing his larger hands around hers, her hands felt incredibly soft and warm in his, which calmed Severus down.

"You are beautiful... I think you are beautiful."

Hermione looked into his ebony orbs, sincerity, that's what she saw. As much as her heart pounded at that statement, a small section of her brain wanted to giggle at how cute and awkward Severus Snape was at flirting.

Her breath hitched as words, ironically, failed her.

"I am not one to expose ones self like this. You may not know this information, but I am not overly well versed when it comes to the opposite gender, as you can tell I was not blessed in the looks department, but..."

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up and kiss me?"

"Gladly."

His lips brushed against hers igniting a fire in Hermione's body, which she never knew existed.

As he felt her reciprocate he deepened his actions. My god, he had not felt like this for another woman for a very long time.

Eventually they both briefly paused for air. Severus felt heady with emotion, so distracted that he almost forgot about the searing pain that suddenly came from his mark.

"Fuck!" He panted.

Severus wanted nothing more than to stay in the arms of his angel.

"Don't wait up for me Hermione... This could be long."

Before he knew it, he had scooped up Hermione and was battling his tongue against hers, as if it would be their last kiss on earth.

Hermione gripped on to him for dear life, hoping that the moment would never end, but alas, it was over before she knew it.

When he apperated away, she felt cold.

Dispite his instructions she knew she would wait for him.

* * *

He fell like a chunck of lead onto the cold hard floor of his private rooms.

He wanted to drift into the realm of unconsciousness, however hearing his name being said roused him.

"Severus? Severus? Can you hear me?"

Hermione was at his side in a flash and began to tend to his wounds.

Light tender touches left a burning feeling of guilt in Severus's gut. His eyes opened and instantly began to cower away from Hermione, pulling his legs to his chest.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" He screamed, his lank hair flopping from side to side. Severus wanted to hide, although his current state of pain was utterly unbearable.

Despite his actions he found his face being cupped by hands that were not worthy of such a waste of space as himself.

"Severus, Severus... look at me" her voice panicked.

He looked away.

But hands bought him back again, this time gently stroking his cheek.

"What happened?"

"Please... Dont touch me... I am dirty, I'm in pain."

"Then let me help you, we can get you washed up in..."

Her hands began to open his robes, but before he could stop her, she saw it.

It was pretty easy to see what it was. His trousers had splatterings of off white around his groin.

Hermione backed off.

"Severus is that?"

"Seamen, yes."

"Y...Yours?"

Pause.

"Yes."

Severus looked down, Hermione could see the shame in his eyes. She didnt want to jump into conclusions, although it was hard to fight the jealousy that dwelled, although there was nothing official, she still cared for him deeply.

"Tell me..."

"What?" He spat out.

"Tell me what happened!" She pleaded.

"I... I can't..." his breathing became shallower, he couldn't bare to be in her presence, yet he knew it wasn't her fault, although the pain of it all made it rather difficult to move.

"Then show me..."

* * *

 _The meeting was not overly interesting, although he knew at some point the proverbial pink elephant would be discussed. Yaxly was yabbering away to the dark lord about the ministry, when all of a sudden a cold clammy hand slithered across his thigh. Her hot breath hit his ear when she said, "Don't move... We dont want our dark lord to spoil our fun."_

 _The words felt like ice down his back, and tried to think about potions ingredients, as Bella rubbed her hand across his member._

 _He could quickly feel the blood rush south. He felt disgusted with himself, although he was practically helpless._

 _His mind flicked to Hermione, how hurt she would feel if she knew what had occurred._

 _He felt sick._

 _He wished his now hard member to deflate... but the rate Bella was rubbing through his trousers, he would not last long._

 _He could feel an unwanted wave of pleasure wash over him, fighting the urge to shift in his chair._

 _It was almost over, he could feel the tightness in his balls as his release was coming very shortly._

 _However just before the moment of truth happened the Dark lord turned to Severus to ask him rise, he came._

 _Very hard, and very visibly._

 _It all felt like a blur to Severus. But all he felt was shame, shame he had betrayed Hermione. Even when he was thrashing about on the floor from the crutiatus, he kept his thoughts about his brown haired angel._

 _"Get up Sseverus, your school needs you. Dont upset me like that again! Bella we need to have words."_

* * *

"I'll understand if you never wish to speak to me again... You may be released from your obligations and return back to... your time." Those last words hit him the hardest, it was at that moment he knew he loved her.

Hermione couldn't breathe... everything had escalated rather quickly. However she knew what she needed to do.

"Scorgify" she whispered.

His eyes glittered as he didnt see her leave. As the spell washed over him he felt cleaner, yet still tarnished.

She held on to him, her eyes pricked with tears. "Severus Snape... This was not your fault..." she could feel his heartbeat pounding into her. "Please get it into your brilliant brain that I'm not leaving."

She guided him into his bath and gently began to clean his person.

The warm water soothed him as it trickled down his shoulder blades.

Severus was amazed, amazed at how much of a beautiful kind soul could be so forgiving.

He was more than capable to wash and dry himself, yet he allowed her to take care of him.

Once Severus was in his night wear sitting on his bed, he noticed Hermione leaving... yet he couldn't stand the thought of her leaving now. He would never let her leave now.

He stood up and quickly placed his hand on her back.

"Please, Don't leave."

She took his hand and lead him to the bed.

They held on to each other like it was the last day on the earth.

"I... love you."

"I love you more than you would ever know."


	12. Chapter 12

**_I DO NOT OWN !_**

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

* * *

"I know you are awake... I can hear your brain ticking."

"You told me you loved me last night..." Hermione knew that coming straight out with the truth was the simplest thing to do in a situation like this. In his bed, looking into his half sleepy obsidian eyes.

Severus sighed, not because he didn't mean those words, the exhalation was his acceptance of the fact that Hermione might not love him back.

"I... Those words may have slipped out of my mouth." He mumbled.

Hermione looked at him, her eyes beaming at him. She gently bought her hand to his cheek.

"Severus," she sighed,

"Its ok if you don't, Love me that is..." Hermione faltered. Severus stared at her with confusion, did she not want him to lover her?

He went to protest but Hermione pressed her finger against his lips.

She continued, "Because I would do everything in my power to prove that the love I have for you, can be enough for the both of us."

He didn't speak, it was like Severus's ability to form words had mysteriously vanished. However in this moment, words were not necessary, he shifted his body close to hers. To the point where their faces were so close that each beat of a heart could be heard.

Severus looked into Hermione's honest eyes, falling deep into the abyss of pure comfort and love.

He rested his forehead on to hers.

"What have I done to deserve this? To deserve you??" He murmured on to her lips.

"What haven't you done? Severus, you deserve to be loved. Don't you ever say those words again." She chided gently.

He groaned as he nuzzled deeper against Hermione's neck, surrounding himself within her warmth.

Hermione lay there clinging on to Severus, as if he would suddenly self combust and cease to exist.

Eventually Severus fell back asleep, whilst embracing Hermione's body.

Hermione on the other hand was now lying on her back breathing in Severus's scent.

Her mind was in overdrive. She knew that she was in deep with Severus, truly and utterly stuck in love. Which on one hand was fantastic, if everything worked out how it was planned, she would indeed bask in the idea of being by Severus's side for the rest of her life. But on the other hand, what if she failed? Yes she would have some comfort knowing that before he died, Severus had experienced what love really felt like.

Although, she relished being by his side, being his comfort right now. But she wasn't achieving anything anymore, she had finished his antidote, Hermione needn't be here anymore. She should go to the battle and finish her mission, and pray everything went according to plan.

But then again... She knew it would cause great pain to Severus if she left again. He would feel betrayed.

But if he lived?

Hermione would do anything to make it up to him.

* * *

She was quiet, too quiet.

Severus had been around this insatiable woman for long enough now to know that something wasn't right. It had been eating away at him all day. A part of him wanted to shake her into a sound mind, to reveal to him what the issue was. However another part of him desired very much to take that step further in their 'relationship' and to ravage every single morsel of her body, until she bloody well forgot what was bothering her.

Severus set his mug of tea down with a loud thud. He had hoped that if he was loud enough, he would be able to catch Hermiones attention.

His plan had worked. Hermione had been staring into space and thinking about her available options, when Severus's mug caught her attention.

"You think too much" Severus said rather flatly.

"I'm sorry Severus..." she mumbled back, however Severus was having none of that. He quickly stood up from his chair and crouched down to Hermione's eye level.

She was on the verge of tears. But why?

He shifted closer and put his forehead lovingly onto hers, before gently asking, "Hermione, tell me."

It wasn't a question but she knew to answer anyway.

At first she didnt say anything, but fished out the Time Turner from her pocket and held it out in her hand.

"I think it's time Severus..." she whispered barely audibly, yet he still understood.

"Don't get me wrong Severus, I wish I could just stay here with you... but we both know that I am just prolonging the inevitable. If I fail... I won't, I won't have you in my life anymore."

"And if you don't?"

"Then I'm yours... forever."

"Hermione..." Severus sighed, "You already are. No matter what happens."

"But I promised you that I would never..." Severus interjected,

"Ssh. No more. I understand Hermione."

She looked deeply into his eyes, "Gods I love you."

He didnt reply, but he did respond by gently brushing his lips against hers.

Kissing her like it was the last time.

Which it could be.

* * *

 _A/N: Hello, sorry for the delay... I have no excuse now! I hope to bring you more soon! As you can see, things are ramping up!_ _Hope you enjoyed this chapter!_ _Please Review!_ _Much love xx_


	13. chapter 13

**As much as I would love to, I do NOT own anything!**

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

* * *

God, he looked like a small child, whose favourite teddy had just been ripped out of his arms. Why had she agreed for him to be there when she went? Wouldn't it be kinder to the both of them if she just vanished in the night.

Ripping off the plaster quickly.

Right now she was prolonging the pain, knowing that the next time she would see Severus, he would be soaked in blood knocking at deaths door. So looking into his eyes in that moment knowing that, made her feel sick to the stomach.

Severus stared into her eyes, words of comfort lingered on his lips. Not matter how many pretty words of love he could humanly conjure, would never be enough.

What was worse, was the fact that he didn't know himself when he would next see Hermione. This moment of longing looks and prolonged silence could be the last for him, and that thought scared him. Never in his life would Severus Snape ever think that a thought would truly put fear inside him, but the thought of never seeing Hermione again felt like torture.

Severus looked up, shields down showing as much emotion as was humanly possible for Snape, "Hermione..."

Her eyes flicked up from the implement that was grasped tightly in her hand.

"Severus please!" She pleaded, "This is hard enough as it is, I don't need you asking me to stay." Her hands started to tremble, as her conscienceness finally succumbed to the flood of pain that filled her very being.

He reached forward and placed his warm slender hands upon hers.

"That was not what I WAS going to say Granger." He snapped. Feeling his emotions slosh all over the place.

He quickly regained his cool, Severus never wanted to hurt Hermione.

He let go of her hands and straightened his posture and looked away from her.

For a man like Severus, speaking from the heart, was an immensely different task. Telling Hermione was one thing, but to look at her at the same time? Now that was too much for his poor heart to endure.

"I know whatever I would attempt to say to make you stay would be utterly fruitless Hermione. When you have an idea set in that brilliant mind of yours, you go ahead with your Gryffindor bravery until you have reached your attended goal.

"However, you are fighting a battle with time. Scenarios might not plan out how you may have imagined them to be. Yes I am aware you have been here before, but every single moment you linger in the past, the future is changing. This final battle may be different to the one you had first hand experience to. These may not be major differences, but there will be... I'm already disgusted with myself for quoting this man, but he has a point. Constant vigilance Hermione, make sure to remember that. No matter what you see.

Even if, even if I do not live after all. I ask this of you, Hermione..." Severus turned to look at her now, his eyes glistening with intent and seriousness.

"Don't do anything idiotic. Do not act like juliet. Do not die for me. That is my one wish, should I not make it after all. Please live. For me. I love you Hermione Granger. Thank you for showing me what it is like to love and be loved in return. Merlin it is a beautiful thing, and should I die, I shall die a happy man."

Suddenly his lips were on hers, sealing this promise. When they withdrew from one another, Hermione leant back in and spoke in a low controlled tone, holding back the torrents of emotion that stormed away inside herself "No, thank you Severus. Thank you for showing me the real you. The beautiful thoughtful side of you..."

Her breath hitched as she attempted to carry on "This will not be goodbye Severus. I will make sure of that."

At this Hermione knew now was the time, so to speak. She clutched the time Turner in her hand. After quickly mentally going over in her mind, if she had everything, knowing she had, her eyes searched for Severus.

She was met with his passionate gaze penetrating her heart and soul with his love.

Taking a calming deep breath she whispered in Severus's direction.

"I love you."

But before he had the chance to utter those same words, Hermione had vanished.

Time warped around her as she started to mentally prepare herself for the final leg of her mission.

Time gradually slowed back to its normal pace. She glanced around the headmasters office, to be greeted by the sight of not one, but both Carrows.

Snarling at her, both ready to fight.

Hermione knew what she needed to do. She grasped her wand, and began, the war was afoot.

 ** _AN right! on to the nitty gritty now! I would like to send Hermione back soon! Thank you to everyone for your reviews, I love reading them!_** ** _Much love!_**


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